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hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video we're talking going to talk about how to stop worrying okay this is a big one this is a deep topic that I can barely cover in the this little quick self-help segment but let's crack into it I'm going to give you some practical tips and also how you understand what is it the cause of your worrying why are you worrying so much first thing to understand we all worry this is just how the human mind works where natural warriors we're worrying all the time why because your lower self and your reptilian brain is always on the lookout for problems it's always looking for something that is going to be on the horizon that you gotta watch out for there's always a fear lurking somewhere there's always a worst-case scenario it's really good at catastrophizing situations so that is why you're worrying and you probably think that this is a good thing if you are like me and you had a problem with where I had a problem with wearing so I still do but at least I understand now after doing years of personal development work that the worry is a big mind game and it's a trap it's like a sand bit and if you do not understand this idea that worry is useless then you are really sucked in to the worry here's the problem is that your mind is always going to worry about something it's always going to five fears and those fears always going to be projected so what you got to do is you got to start to tame that and what that is called is actually taming your gremlin you literally have like a gremlin in your mind this little devil's advocate that is criticizing all the time it's judging all the time it's always casting blame at you all the time and so this gremlin is in your mind it's running around in there and it's causing havoc chaos and when you're worrying this much you're not able to get good results in your life not to mention feel good you definitely don't feel good because you're always frantic and anxious but you're you're probably not getting the results you want in your life from fitness to business to to relationships because this worry is creating sabotage for you quite simply right you keep telling yourself that something is going to happen you focus on it so much that you actually end up attracting it to you maybe you're so worried that the relationship you're in is going to break up and that you're going to end up alone that you become so needy in that relationship that you actually end up alienating the person that really loved you and then you actually do end up alone and it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy effect and then you say well look I should have been worrying about that because it actually happened it was a real problem when in fact that was created by your negative thinking how about business let's say you're starting a business and you're worried that the economy is bad and that starting a new business nowadays is not really possible it's too hard it's going to require a lot of work and it's probably going to fail if you have that kind of thought and you go in and start a business what you think is going to happen well your mind is going to start to focus on all the challenges that before you and it's going to start to point fingers and say look that technique for starting a business didn't work because like I said the economy is bad and nobody wants to buy anything and this this process here doesn't work either because that it uh whatever and you just go through and you keep saying no no no no no look at this look at that I told you so I know it's going to fail I just know it's going to fail and what do you think happens to your motivation what do you think happens to your resourcefulness and your perseverance in making that business work and creating a business is something that requires a lot of resourcefulness a lot of creativity and a lot of perseverance and if you're lacking those well you can get a pretty good idea of what's going to happen but your mind in its infinite trickiness will say but that's how it is that's how reality is that's how the market is it just is that way businesses are hard to start and I knew that that was going to happen so this worry was completely justified and the fact that it failed now is not because of the worry it's because of the reality of the situation so those are two examples of how you could be creating self-sabotage with your worry so what do we do about this you know is it always the case that worry has a purpose or it doesn't have a purpose well I don't know how it really is but I think for practical purposes to run your life as effectively as possible from everything that I researched and everything that I've experimented with out myself then here's what you want to believe you want to hold the belief that worry is entirely useless there is no point nothing empowering about the process of worrying ever ever ever ever ever you never worry you never want to worry now of course it doesn't mean that you're going to not worry anymore because it's deeply ingrained in you you cannot beat that out of yourself even if you tried what you can do is you can reduce that and then you could also reduce the amount of episodes of worrying that you have so just a simple fact that you start - from now on believe that worry is useless is already going to eliminate some episodes of worry and it's going to reduce the severity of them so maybe you're gonna let's say go to work next week and you've got a big presentation in front of the boss and you need to really impress the boss and then the boss's boss is there you got to really make a good presentation otherwise well your mind fills in the blank something bad is going to happen maybe you can get fired right you might think well it's good to think about the fact that I'm gonna get fired because that motivates me that charges me up I'm worried but that worry is creating some sort of action in me which is actually going to get me to overcome my procrastination to work on that project get it done and that's how done in the past in the past when I worried about something that's gotten me to action that was like a fire under my ass okay I hear what you're saying I've had that experience myself but if you didn't worry if that worry wasn't there I would argue that you would do equally better I mean equally as good as if you did worry or better and in many many cases you're gonna do better and better by a lot because what's happening is that that worry is is creating self-fulfillment it's creating a it's creating like a self sabotaging effect on yourself because the drain your energy literally your psychic energy your mental resources your willpower and your focus is being drained on this worry and that worry is not productive in and of itself it might light a fire under your ass for a short bit of time but in and of itself it's not going to actually take the action that's not going to create the presentation for yourself it's not so what you got to say is you got to say wait a minute okay catch yourself in the middle of the worrying process because you're probably gonna be some or in the middle of it then you gotta say wait a minute from now on I thought I believed that worry is no longer is no longer powering it doesn't serve any function so I'm gonna try to just cut it out this weren't even though I think that it's going to help it's actually not helping it would be better if what I did was I just focused my attention on the things that I could control things that I could do how about I just focus on what I could do for this presentation rather than worrying on all the worst case scenarios that will happen if I don't do what I need to do why don't I just do them why don't I just start to think about all the cool stuff that's going to happen if I do it well right how about that for change for you pessimists out there that's probably you probably your jaw dropped I know for me sometimes that is that is the case is I'm so caught up in the worrying and just sometimes I'll just stop myself and I'll realize what's happening I'll be in that worry spiral and I realize what's happening and I'm like whoa what if I just was thinking about the flip side of all that instead of thinking about how my business is going to fail and nothing's going to work out what if I think about the fact that it's going to succeed and things are going to work out better than I thought they did it's like 180 degree shift and it's like whoa when I start thinking about that then all the sudden it's like okay that's really cool well if that's the case what if I then do this and then what if I use that strategy that maybe this other strategy will work and then maybe I'll get some more money and then maybe I can do some more advertising and then maybe I can get some more clients and then I can make it when I get more clients I'll get more money and then I can use that money to create a better product and then we'll just build on itself and now you get excited now you get a vision now you want to go out there you take so this is positive motivation versus the negative motivation that you get with worry so even though we can create motivation it's not a really good high quality type of motivation and besides you're going to feel awful why would you want to want why would you want to motivate yourself with with pain when you can motivate yourself with pleasure and ambition and desire much more powerful right so other ways of stopping worrying I think the biggest one is to start to get more awareness around the fact that you are worrying and be honest with yourself if you're a constant worrier and all you do is you think negative thoughts all the time and you are always catastrophizing situations and especially if you worry about stuff that is out of your control that you have nothing that you can do about and especially if you worry about things and then if you look back in your past you see that most of stuff that you worry about doesn't actually pan out for you it never becomes an issue in the first place then you really got to admit that you've got a negative thinking problem your pessimist and your a constant worrying I'll constant worrier and if that's the case then you know that's where you're at that's a valuable insight to have now what you got to do is you got to start a gradual process of bringing more awareness to your worry start noticing when you're thinking negatively stop periodically throughout your day for just a few minutes and just notice how are you feeling are you feeling anxious frustrated anything negative and then notice what are you thinking because your thoughts are creating the feelings if you're always anxious there's only one reason why you are only anxious because you are visualizing very vividly negative things to yourself that means you're visualizing yourself bombing the presentation you're visualizing yourself bombing the final exam you're visualizing yourself wanting a poor destitute on the street in rags you're visualizing yourself being rejected by your boyfriend or girlfriend you're visualizing your marriage crumbling you're visualizing your kids dying you're visualizing these very catastrophic things and that is of course creating frustration and negative feelings inside you how could it not you got to start to shift out of that and start to basically do the flip of it right the opposite and what's the opposite of worry it's what I call positive worry other books talk about it too it's positive worry why don't you adopt a habit for the next seven days of positive worrying that means what you do is you do the same thing as you would if you were worrying about the situation but everything you worry about is the positive of it so that means you're going to think about that presentation and your think about it a lot but you can think about all the amazing stuff you can think about that you're going to do better than expected you're gonna you're gonna think about how maybe you're going to get a raise what if you get a raise you're going to consider hypotheticals and that's kind of how what worrying is is a consideration of hypotheticals but improper worrying it's negative hypotheticals and here you're going to consider positive hypotheticals like what if I really a stat presentation and then I get a raise from that we know what if what if what if the people on my team get really inspired by that presentation what if I actually learn something about myself in the process what if what if what if what if all this positive stuff so start doing that do that for a week and see how you feel I think you'll start to notice just how much worrying you do and that will create the inner shift you need just to start to get a handle on it it's going to take you a while to really get a solid handle on it but you got to start somewhere so that's a good place to start it even if you've got a decent handle on your worrying you can still start with this exercise it's still a really really powerful exercise to do all right this is Leo I'm going to be signing off go ahead leave me your comments please share this in like this that's why I release this does these videos for free and then check out actualized org for more advanced personal development tips like this where we talk about how to get yourself into a positive state of mind get yourself out of a negative on resourceful state of mind and other advanced techniques and I really there's a lot of different techniques in my repertoire for how to deal with worry I can only share one or two of them here so check out actualize that org and sign up for my free newsletter there you